Mum and Tanyapa to hand every day, involved in me & my kids.
Cathy, Debs & Katie have individually assured me weekly visits, along with daily support on phone and via text/Facebook will continue in order to maintain continuity. This has been in place for months, and it works, plus I am confident it will continue.
Other support on regular basis:
HV, GP, La Leche League meetings, children's centre, other friends/family.
Concern 2: getting overwhelmed
Been practicing strategies and they have worked so far. If things seem overwhelming -
a) stop, breathe, put Theia in cot/crib/moses basket. Give Jaan phone/Ipad so he is in one place by you.
b) tell someone you are overwhelmed or struggling with emotions, often talking it over defuses it all - Iain, Cathy, Katie, Debs, Christopher, Mamma, Tanyapa, Health Visitor, GP, Katie Gunn, Lamin at MIND.
c) ask for help if it's still too much
d) are you hungry? Tired? Do you need/want a Lorazepam - get someone to mind Theia while you take Lorazepam & sleep.
Concern 3: Violent thoughts/actions
a) breathing important.
b) walk/move. Time out break.
c) hug Jaan/Theia, I have chosen them over SH.
d) if the thoughts persist, tell Iain or Cathy and ask they stay with me/on the phone till I feel safe.
e) kids and pets reassure me, prefer them with me rather than away from me.
Concern 4: PTSD flashbacks, or SH episodes, i.e: I've lost control/been overcome/given in to the urge.
a) put Theia in cot/crib/moses basket. Give Jaan phone/Ipad so he is in one place, go out of earshot and call Iain or Cathy. Flashbacks are hard, I need help to come out of them if they get a grip on me, or wait it out, which is awful.
b) Call relevant health professional or speak when Iain/Cathy arranges a call.
c) follow instructions to calm down and move on.
Schedule
W/c Mon 1st July:
Mon - discharge meeting, Jaan at school/childminder till 17:30, Theia may come home. Iain around to help. His paternity leave will kick in this week or next week depending on when T comes home.
Tues - Theia may come home or be home, Tanyapa arrives around breakfast time to spend July with us all. She's based at Mamma's and will be with me a lot, playing, feeding and cooing over baby + helping about the house as she does.
Visits from outreach team, Katie Gunn and health visitor due to take place in this week.
Debs & Katie and Cathy will all visit once each during the week (Wed/Thu/Fri) for coffee and chat, cheers me up, they will bring me food etc for freezer too which will help, and will bottle feed, change a nappy etc which will give me a bit of a rest. This is a weekly thing with each godmother (in general). La Leche League meeting on Fri.
6th - 7th there are 2 kids birthday parties for Jaan, my birthday (take away food & chill out party for me at Cathy's on 7th night, or at ours, for us, Cathy's brood & Tanyapa + brood). Kung Fu demonstration for Jaan to take part in each afternoon, Parkers Piece big weekend - so plenty for Jaan & cousins to do, plenty of people to take them - brother in law, Mamma, Cathy ... I can focus on Theia and whoever doesn't do extra activities can keep me company.
2nd week:
Ramadan begins, Iain will be home so can drive Jaan about, and Jaan will come home to me on Tue for lunch before Tiny Tigers, after Lavender on Wednesday, and Friday from lunchtime, while Monday and Thursday after school he'll be with Michelle (childminder).
Mamma & Abba can spend a week chilling and settling into Ramadan.
Tanyapa around and available for me.
Visits from Cathy/Debs & Katie, plus this week and next week will see Chris&Rachel, Mostyn&Jules, Rumana, Shakila, Shima, Rafi&Fi, mother in law & father in law, times to be arranged.
Stuff to stick on 2 locations: Lounge (downstairs) and by changing station (upstairs)
List of phone numbers (Drs, outreach team, out of hours, mental health team, helplines, friends, family, WIFI key, taxi etc)
Reference sheet - IF ... DO ... list of common or probable scenarios and quick first steps to stay safe/resolve
Colours a baby could get + where to rush to reference sheet
Symptoms sheet for common baby emergencies/illnesses
First aid sheet
Resuscitation sheet
Baby - safe places to be:
upstairs: Amby hammock crib in the bedroom
Red (like a tiny sofa) chair with Summer baby pillow for safe feeding
downstairs: roving moses basket,
Graco SweetPeace baby swing,
travel cot (pac'n'play situation) which will serve as a small playpen.
Nanujaan's house
baby bouncer chair.
second moses basket.
second travel cot (pac'n'play situation) which will serve as a small playpen.
Use sling.
Cathy's house
third travel cot (pac'n'play situation) which will serve as a small playpen.
Use sling.
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